the other day we were discussing dating and this one dude was like “I don’t see the big deal why can’t people just ask people out without all the fuss” and another guy was like “well you get nervous and you get butterflies in your stomach ya know” and the first dude looked the other dude straight in the eye and said “DIGEST THEM.”
why double dipping isnt actually a problem:
- if i want some more dip im getting some and u aint gonna be a lil bitch about it
because it’s not socially acceptable to chill in my living room in my girl underwear
i chill in my living room in my boy underwear
Did someone say chillin’ in underwear?!?!
That glass would go great with this bottle of wine!
fuck glasses let’s get bUCK IN HEEEEERE
WOAH HEY GIVE A GIRL SOME WARNING
damn i feel classy as FUCK
WOW WINE TASTES AWESOME IN A SOLO CUP
OH JOLLY GOOD
ARE WE BEST FRIENDS YET?
Did I just witness an Internet friendship being born
I don’t know what we just witnessed, but it was beautiful.
so today it snowed for the first time this year and ive naturally been online all day and didnt know so i went to take out the garbage in bare feet and stepped in an inch snow and i just yelled "what the fUCK" and i just heard my neighbour in his backyard go “oh my god she’s outside”
you know you have hit your lowest point of being low when you start procrastinating your showers
when u say a really clever comeback without stuttering
do you ever think about the money you don’t have and you just
hey sheldon, what’s up?
the ceiling, of course
[extensively long laugh track, continuing on for minutes, breaking on hours. audience members are slowly dying of laughter, unable to stop. the actors want to cry out in grief for them to stop, but they are on set. it is a massive tragedy]
how big is ur penis?? i don’t want length, i want volume, surface area and density