I need to make truffles but im too lazy
I’m in jury duty, haven’t been called yet, and I’m falling asleep at a table. It’s what college students are best at.
I want subway but it’s too cold to go outside. Summer can come back now.
My dad decided it was a good idea to wait until morning and I have to be somewhere to put the new plates on my car.
I own a car.
If you are what you eat then I am potatoes.
I like having curly hair. I don’t need pins to keep it out of my face, just push it back and we’re good to go.
I have jury duty tomorrow and WHAT DO I WEAR TO COURT?
Well that was fun.
Last night a guy at work complained to a manager because I didn’t look him in the eyes.
So like a year ago I opened up to someone and showed them more of my soul than anyone has ever seen and then they run away like a three year old because they didn’t get their way and its like oh hey thanks assface glad to see the relationship was only one way.
I think there’s a truck on my street with creaky breaks but it sounds like a giant howling mechanical dog and its creepy.
Hello spring, nice of you to join us.
Holy Jesus look how clean my floor was